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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to find out that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom rather too directly, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to use the facilities during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|